Tag: health

Growth in the Heat Wave

Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , Leave a comment

It’s been a month now that I’ve been out of the hospital and rehab facility for extremely low sodium. I’m still dealing with fatigue and brain fog. I’ve got Physical Therapists coming to work with me a few times a week till the the end of August. So it’s been a long strange summer so far. But yesterday, I was out looking at my little patch of zinnias and other flowers and saw my first big butterfly of the season.

Thanks to a friend watering the garden became quite abundant in my absense.
This is a swallowtail, I think, and is almost as big as my hand.

When I got back from the Rehab Center, my hibiscus had gotten so big that I had to cut it back to get around the porch on my wheelchair. In this extreme heat, it’s growing new leaves and gave me a bloom this week.

My neighbors had to cut down an old oak earlier in the year. It was at least 100 years old, but was diseased and a threat to their home. Last week, they planted 3 new oak saplings in their large yard. It made me happy. Urban nature is more important than ever.

The old oak’s girth had spilled out beyond the yard and onto the sidewalk. When they took the tree down they left that small bit of the tree there. Then when they planted the new trees, the workers offered to dig out the old tree remains. But my neighbor said to leave it, it’s part of the legacy of the magnificent oak that graced his yard for decades. I was so pleased to see that bit of natural art on my stroll by their house.

To me it, looks like a wave of nature’s power

The delicacy of a butterfly, the strength of an old oak, the abundance of annual plants reaching for the sun, creating life and color from nothing but water, soil and sun.

Meanwhile, I’m learning to type with a new wrist/thumb brace to help with arthritis with this gadget so I can continue to type and keep in touch with all the lovely people who read this blog, who are part of nature, subject to sudden shifts in their health, and their emotional and economic lives. We are as delicate as a flower petal or butterfly, but strong as oaks. And very creative in coming up with way of helping each other in small ways, and in big ways like inventing a gadget to keep me working on the things that make my life matter.

I’m working on a new painting, recreating an old one, for the Opulent Mobility show. The deadline for entries is the end of August. The show celebrates disability as powerful and opulent and I’m working as much as I can to make the deadline. I’m trying new materials and new methods of working that are more friendly to my changing body. It’s an exciting journey.

I hope all is as well as it can be in your part of the world and that you can spend some time each day focusing on way the world keeps making beautiful things in spite of the ways of people who think they are above the forces of nature.

And speaking of the forces of nature, I thought I’d share this video of an iceberg “flipping” in Greenland. Notice all the colors and shapes of frozen water.

~~~

Thanks for reading my blog. Feel free to share it, if you’d like.

This blog is brought to you by the generosity of people who support me on Patreon , buy my art, and who support me in so many different ways. 

If you’d like to make a one time donation, you can do so at paypal

Cards and prints of some of my art is available on Redbubble.  Also T-shirts and stickers and other odds and ends. When you click an image, in the lower right hand corner you’ll find a link to all the various products that these are printed on. If you have any trouble finding what you’re looking for, let me know. joyzmailbox@gmail.com 

You can subscribe to this blog by email in the link below this post.

If you find a typo, let me know, and I’ll send you a postcard.

Unsalted

Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , 12 Comments

On June 11, I was taken to the hospital because I could no longer transfer from my wheelchair to the bed, other chairs, or the toilet without falling.  I thought I’d fallen four times in 4 days, but my son said it was more like seven times in 3 days.  I had just started a new medication for neuropathy and twitching muscles (part of my disability).  I’d also just gotten one of those “I’ve fallen and I can’t get  up” buttons, so each time I fell and pressed it they called emergency services and my son.  I also called my son a few times without calling emergency services. He lives a few blocks from me. 

I was nauseated, and light headed and was pretty sure the medication was at fault.  The last time emergency services came to get me off the floor, they strongly suggested I go to the hospital.  I argued, being hard-headed and sure everything would be okay if I stopped taking the meds.  When I argued about going to the hospital, my son stepped in and said very firmly that I was going to the hospital.  He’s as hard headed as me, and now he’s bigger than me.  The next thing I knew I was being loaded into an ambulance.  

Things went a bit blurry after that.  The next thing I remember was being in an emergency room.  Then more blurriness and I was in the Intensive Care Unit.  My sodium levels had dropped to 110, and if it had dropped any lower I could have gone into a coma or died. So, thank goodness for hard headed sons.

When your salt gets that low, they can’t just flood your body with salt or it could cause you to go into shock.  So they slowly brought my salt up in the ICU, then sent me to the “step down” unit, which is a step lower than ICU, but still required a blood test every 4 hours.  

When your sodium gets so low it affects your neurological system, muscular system, and brain activity.  I could not transfer or even stand up without assistance.  I had to be strapped to a physical therapist to move from the bed to a chair.

Bored one afternoon, I cleaned out my purse, and found my Gwenn Seemel mask, which matched my mood for the day

After my salt was close enough to normal, I was transferred to a rehab facility for two weeks where the real physical therapy began.  As my salt stabilized, and therapists worked with me for 3 hours a day, I could make safe transfers, use my manual wheelchair, stand up with a grab bar, and most importantly, transfer myself to the toilet. 

pxl_20260713_1949063987267118405869877556
My first watercolor attempt at hospital
My physical therapy car
Got in and got out — but didn’t get to drive away and escape

I got home last Monday, July 6, have had a PT assessment, and will have a therapist coming to work with me twice a week for 2 months.

I’ve always been the envy of my over 60 for my ability to still eat as much salt as I like.  The reason is I have a tendency for hyponatremia (low salt) because I have SIADH (sigh-add). SIADH (Syndrome of Inappropriate Antidiuretic Hormone Secretion) is a condition where the body releases too much antidiuretic hormone (ADH). This causes the kidneys to retain excess water, which dilutes blood sodium levels.

It’s very rare for a medication to cause such an extreme loss of salt, and my doctor said he’d never heard of it happening before and is researching the drug and recorded reactions to it.  Maybe his research will result in a big fat warning label for people with low salt.  

Meanwhile, I’ve been very glad to be home, glad to be alive, and glad to start blogging again.  When I became conscious of what happened to me, I was figured I was still on the planet to finish up paintings I’ve been planning and postponing for years.  And write more, too.

pxl_20260628_2332124824408011672336362447
Second watercolor sketch while in rehab

I had such good support from my friends who visited and brought flowers, food, and encouragement.  

I was so out of it, I was unable to comprehend what doctors and nurses were saying to me.  A dear friend stayed with me and took notes to send my family and close friends so they would know what was going on.  She sent them to me too because my brain was just not retaining information.   

I was worried about how much I was forgetting and miscomprehending and unable to communicate, so I told my nurse if it continued another month, I thought I should get a test for early onset dementia.  But she said to wait.  A month seems like a long time to me.  But in healing time it’s quite short.  Give myself at least three months.  And it’s true, every day I’m feeling just a bit better, a bit more energetic, and a bit smarter.   

So, again, I’m going to try to start blogging more often, and painting more and living as fully as possible.   I’ll be salty, too.

Thanks to the doctors, the excellent nurses, and everyone who helped me through this strange medical event.  

I’m so happy to be home.

img_20260706_1239205205017494955001578
Thanks to my friend for watering my plants

~~~

Thanks for reading my blog. Feel free to share it, if you’d like.

This blog is brought to you by the generosity of people who support me on Patreon , buy my art, and who support me in so many different ways. 

If you’d like to make a one time donation, you can do so at paypal

Cards and prints of some of my art is available on Redbubble.  Also T-shirts and stickers and other odds and ends. When you click an image, in the lower right hand corner you’ll find a link to all the various products that these are printed on. If you have any trouble finding what you’re looking for, let me know. joyzmailbox@gmail.com 

You can subscribe to this blog by email in the link below this post.

If you find a typo, let me know, and I’ll send you a postcard.

Plans Pinched

Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , 9 Comments

After my last post on how I was going to post more consistently, I finished a painting/collage, and was ready to write a post, then got a pinched nerve in my cervical spine (neck). It’s happened last year, too, and is part of the way my spine is weakening due to my HSP, a degenerative condition that causes thinning of the spinal cord. The pinched nerve sends shooting pain down my arm, as well as a sharp pins and needles feeling. Writing on my computer, or by hand for that matter, became excruciating. It’s better now, the pain manageable. I’ve done a lot of physical therapy – otherwise, I just have to wait it out. It usually resolves itself within a month.

So it goes that I’ve reached a point where I can’t make promises on schedules – not that I’ve ever been that good at it anyway.

Art and writing are strange endeavors in these times. It’s like the whole world has a degenerative condition, and things are falling apart in extraordinary and surreal ways. A lot of people are getting hurt and are unable to talk about it; censored somehow, despite the presence of an unprecedented number of media outlets. We’re all drowning in information about problems, and denied access to solutions. So, I took some time away from all that and painted an homage to my chin.

I’ve always been self-conscious about my double chin (and round face). Now a lot of friends are aging, and their faces are changing as their skin gets a bit wrinkled. I’ve always loved wrinkles, the way we age and change. I find the kind of restrictions we put on ourselves as to what we see as beautiful absurd. Every wrinkle, sag, scar, anomaly, or unique characteristic is fascinating to me. I love the signs of aging and survival.

But I find that I don’t extend that grace to myself. So I took a few pictures of myself at “bad” angles. I painted each one on paper, using watercolor, acrylic paint, paintmarkers, and pens then collaged them onto a canvas, along with some ads for ways to get rid of double chins.

Surprisingly, I was uplifted by the project. I enjoy my chin much more because the overall mood of the painting is happiness. And in spite of the state of the world, I am happy. I’m willing to bet I’m happier than any of the rich and powerful people chipping away at our beloved country and world. I’d rather have a degenerative disorder of my body, than degenerated compassion and lack of regard for the needs and safety of others.

Forgive Us Our Chins by Joy Murray, 2026, 20×24″

So what do you think? Should I make it available in my Redbubble shop? Or is it more of a one off, personal self portrait? (It’s now on Redbubble as prints, cards, stickers, etc https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/181208173?asc=u)

Keep your chins up, my friends. As soon as the pain of being pinched by the world passes, make something beautiful or funny or powerful. You make the world a better place.

~~~

Thanks for reading my blog. Feel free to share it, if you’d like.

This blog is brought to you by the generosity of people who support me on Patreon , buy my art, and who support me in so many different ways. 

If you’d like to make a one time donation, you can do so at paypal

Cards and prints of some of my art is available on Redbubble.  Also T-shirts and stickers and other odds and ends. When you click an image, in the lower right hand corner you’ll find a link to all the various products that these are printed on. If you have any trouble finding what you’re looking for, let me know. joyzmailbox@gmail.com 

You can subscribe to this blog by email in the link below this post.

If you find a typo, let me know, and I’ll send you a postcard.

Me with a Sunflower fabric sculpture I made maybe 20 years ago. Her necks gone a bit weak, too.

65 Years of Joy

Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , 3 Comments

I turned 65 yesterday (September 9, 2025). What a surprise that was for me. And to be happy about it! I never thought either thing would happen. To begin with, when I first started having health problems, my doctors told me I might not live until I was 30. (I’ve now lived to see both of my kids enter their 40s.) But as my degenerative spinal cord condition progressed, and I developed bi-polar disorder, I thought if I did live this long I’d be mad about it.

To have to keep dealing with so many health issues and pain for this long used to seem unbearable. Especially after my left leg got too weak to balance with (my right leg had already lost most of it’s movement) and I had to start using a wheelchair full time – stopped being able to use my walker at all. It was so hard to adjust to the new limits and lack of access. I felt a terrible sense of confinement.

But one day, I began to see all the grace and beauty in my life. I felt like I’d received a reward for growing older. My expectations shifted, my acceptance of pain and limits became more than just an act; it’d somehow become a part of who I am (though I still feel misery and sadness – and sometimes I shout out a blazing “Fuck!” in the middle of the night when pain wakes me or keeps me from sleeping). But more often I feel a sense of calm at the same time. We’ve been through this before, I tell myself. We’ll get by. (I refer to myself as a collective – I contain multitudes).

There are hundreds of easy ways to end this story, this life, but I keep wanting to add a little more, another chapter.

What a remarkable thing love and friendship has been. When I’m around friends and family talking, enjoying music, or sharing a meal, all that’s broken within me is reduced to a very small compartment of my being. I open up my heart to those around me, I listen to their stories of pain and sorrow. We laugh and joke, get sad and indignant, then grab a thread of conversation that leads back to the light, or sit in the sadness for as long as we need.

Everything is chaotic and strange. We fall sometimes, more often as we age, but the safety net between friends never breaks, we are there for each other, so we always land softly, and find our way back to love and laughter. No matter how bleak things look, there will never be a shortage of that kind of health or wealth. It’s a great gift to have lived long enough, and through enough, to know that.

Embrace Imperfection by Joy Murray ,20×24″, mixed media on canvas, 2025

~~~

Thanks for reading my blog. Feel free to share it, if you’d like.

This blog is brought to you by the generosity of people who support me on Patreon , buy my art, and who support me in so many different ways. 

If you’d like to make a one time donation, you can do so at paypal

Cards and prints of some of my art is available on Redbubble.  Also T-shirts and stickers and other odds and ends. When you click an image, in the lower right hand corner you’ll find a link to all the various products that these are printed on. If you have any trouble finding what you’re looking for, let me know. joyzmailbox@gmail.com 

You can subscribe to this blog by email in the link below this post.

If you find a typo, let me know, and I’ll send you a postcard.