After my last post on how I was going to post more consistently, I finished a painting/collage, and was ready to write a post, then got a pinched nerve in my cervical spine (neck). It’s happened last year, too, and is part of the way my spine is weakening due to my HSP, a degenerative condition that causes thinning of the spinal cord. The pinched nerve sends shooting pain down my arm, as well as a sharp pins and needles feeling. Writing on my computer, or by hand for that matter, became excruciating. It’s better now, the pain manageable. I’ve done a lot of physical therapy – otherwise, I just have to wait it out. It usually resolves itself within a month.
So it goes that I’ve reached a point where I can’t make promises on schedules – not that I’ve ever been that good at it anyway.
Art and writing are strange endeavors in these times. It’s like the whole world has a degenerative condition, and things are falling apart in extraordinary and surreal ways. A lot of people are getting hurt and are unable to talk about it; censored somehow, despite the presence of an unprecedented number of media outlets. We’re all drowning in information about problems, and denied access to solutions. So, I took some time away from all that and painted an homage to my chin.
I’ve always been self-conscious about my double chin (and round face). Now a lot of friends are aging, and their faces are changing as their skin gets a bit wrinkled. I’ve always loved wrinkles, the way we age and change. I find the kind of restrictions we put on ourselves as to what we see as beautiful absurd. Every wrinkle, sag, scar, anomaly, or unique characteristic is fascinating to me. I love the signs of aging and survival.
But I find that I don’t extend that grace to myself. So I took a few pictures of myself at “bad” angles. I painted each one on paper, using watercolor, acrylic paint, paintmarkers, and pens then collaged them onto a canvas, along with some ads for ways to get rid of double chins.
Surprisingly, I was uplifted by the project. I enjoy my chin much more because the overall mood of the painting is happiness. And in spite of the state of the world, I am happy. I’m willing to bet I’m happier than any of the rich and powerful people chipping away at our beloved country and world. I’d rather have a degenerative disorder of my body, than degenerated compassion and lack of regard for the needs and safety of others.
So what do you think? Should I make it available in my Redbubble shop? Or is it more of a one off, personal self portrait? (It’s now on Redbubble as prints, cards, stickers, etc https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/181208173?asc=u)
Keep your chins up, my friends. As soon as the pain of being pinched by the world passes, make something beautiful or funny or powerful. You make the world a better place.
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