After my last post on how I was going to post more consistently, I finished a painting/collage, and was ready to write a post, then got a pinched nerve in my cervical spine (neck). It’s happened last year, too, and is part of the way my spine is weakening due to my HSP, a degenerative condition that causes thinning of the spinal cord. The pinched nerve sends shooting pain down my arm, as well as a sharp pins and needles feeling. Writing on my computer, or by hand for that matter, became excruciating. It’s better now, the pain manageable. I’ve done a lot of physical therapy – otherwise, I just have to wait it out. It usually resolves itself within a month.

So it goes that I’ve reached a point where I can’t make promises on schedules – not that I’ve ever been that good at it anyway.

Art and writing are strange endeavors in these times. It’s like the whole world has a degenerative condition, and things are falling apart in extraordinary and surreal ways. A lot of people are getting hurt and are unable to talk about it; censored somehow, despite the presence of an unprecedented number of media outlets. We’re all drowning in information about problems, and denied access to solutions. So, I took some time away from all that and painted an homage to my chin.

I’ve always been self-conscious about my double chin (and round face). Now a lot of friends are aging, and their faces are changing as their skin gets a bit wrinkled. I’ve always loved wrinkles, the way we age and change. I find the kind of restrictions we put on ourselves as to what we see as beautiful absurd. Every wrinkle, sag, scar, anomaly, or unique characteristic is fascinating to me. I love the signs of aging and survival.

But I find that I don’t extend that grace to myself. So I took a few pictures of myself at “bad” angles. I painted each one on paper, using watercolor, acrylic paint, paintmarkers, and pens then collaged them onto a canvas, along with some ads for ways to get rid of double chins.

Surprisingly, I was uplifted by the project. I enjoy my chin much more because the overall mood of the painting is happiness. And in spite of the state of the world, I am happy. I’m willing to bet I’m happier than any of the rich and powerful people chipping away at our beloved country and world. I’d rather have a degenerative disorder of my body, than degenerated compassion and lack of regard for the needs and safety of others.

So what do you think? Should I make it available in my Redbubble shop? Or is it more of a one off, personal self portrait?

Keep your chins up, my friends. As soon as the pain of being pinched by the world passes, make something beautiful or funny or powerful. You make the world a better place.

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