Drawing Depression #16

I’ve self-managed my depression for the past 7 years, and have used self-management techniques since I was diagnosed in my late 30s.  I’ve also used medication off and on, and it was the use of medicine that made me really see what it was like to be healthy.  It isn’t that meds make me happy all the time, but the depressive veil that mars my vision and sense of self-worth is lifted.  The anxieties and sorrows of life aren’t at the front of my thoughts anymore.  They are there, but in their proper place.

Since I have bi-polar, while I’m getting better, I have to be careful about not getting bumped up into a mania.

I’ve learned through counseling to appreciate my moods, but, I’ve also made a list of warning signs for both sides of my personality.

For Depression:

  • Not wanting to live for more than 3 days in a row
  • Inability to feel awake
  • Self-loathing
  • Feelings of pretense
  • Forgetting this list

For Mania:

  • Inability to sleep
  • Inappropriate romantic entanglements
  • Committing to impossible projects
  • False sense of euphoria
  • Multiple glittering ideas
  • A “screw lists” mentality

025

In this last episode of depression, it was the not wanting to live part that made me go back on meds.  I’d forgotten all the other signs on my list.  Now that I’m getting well again, I decided to draw out my lists and PUT THEM ON THE WALL.

Awareness is not always achievable when I’m ill.

Luckily, part of my medicine is art.

I’m drawing daily to help manage depression.  If you’d like to see the beginning of this project, you can see it here.  You can also follow me through WordPress or on Facebook.

Your thoughts and shares are appreciated.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Drawing Depression #16

  1. I have some understanding and appreciation of what it takes for you to just make it from one day to the next, Joy. Amazing! You are a fighter, for sure! I’m glad you stayed at Bridge Meadows where you have so many young friends who love you. I’m glad, too, that when you relocate, you will be in a place where the sun shines more often and the flowers bloom most of the year around. Please send me a message and let me know more about where you are going and what it will be like. I wish you all the best. : ) Jean

    1. I’m returning to my hometown in Memphis after 10 years here in Portland. I want to live closer to my family and my friends. Thanks for you support and appreciation.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s