I got well and truly flamed this week on my facebook page over wearing and promoting the use of masks to help stop the Covid-19 virus.  I’ve been ignored and had people think I’m over reacting.  And I have friends who believe it’s in the hands of fate if they get it or not.  And those who don’t believe the virus exists at all.  So I’m used to navigating discord and disagreements.

This time, I feel  both wounded and angry.  Everyone believes what they believe and trusts who they trust.  But this person suggested I did no research.  So when I showed the reports from the World Health Organization, I got another flame about that organization.  “If you don’t do the research, Shut the F**k up.”  So I figured the CDC and other health organizations weren’t worth listing.


I’ve been navigating a long term rare degenerative illness for over 40 years now.  Fool that I am, I trust my doctors.  I trust my friends who work in the medical field and in natural medicine.  The consensus practically everywhere is that a mask reduces the risk of spreading it.  It’s a harmless and easy way to help stop the spread of the virus.

Plus you filter out pollution, maybe other viruses, and you can wear art on your face.

But, apparently, to my friend, wearing a mask is akin to wearing a swastika.  Really?  I was dumbfounded.  With all the fascist, racists and supremacists out there, you chose to call someone trying to protect your health a Nazi?

So anyway, another friend lost.  I hate that.  I spent too much time trying to come to some terms of communication, and pass on my belief in peace and conversation.  But I got angry, too.  I got hurt. I spent too much time trying to figure out how to change this person’s mind.

I know that when you lose a friend, it probably means they weren’t really your friend to begin with.  But the loss breaks off a part of you, something you thought was solid disappears and you have to rearrange your memories and question yourself.

It's complicated



A lot of doomsday and conspiracy theories are thrown at me these days, but I think I’m intelligent enough to make a decision on whether or not to wear a mask and take easy precautions to stop a virus.

I’m much more concerned with police abuse of power and the killing of Black citizens, which I see happening.  I also see the lists of the dead from Covid 19.  I see people’s lives ruined by hurricanes and other natural disasters.  I see expansion of poverty.  I see evictions.

But then, I peel myself away from the media, and I go to the park and see trees, flowers, butterflies, dragonflies.  Tall oaks hundreds of years old toss a few acorns my way.


This year I’ve seen so many deaths.  Covid 19 adds a layer of loss to what is already a heavy burden. Distant friends, a close friend, a favorite musician.  And I hear the stories of friends who have lost loved ones.

And so I wear a mask.  A sign of respect, of love, of the desire for us all to have one less thing attack our fragile and brief lives.  I wear a mask because I love people, even if they don’t love me back.


But it’s no good spending my time trying to convert or explain myself to some one so infected with fear and hatred that they are willing to end a friendship over something they have almost no power over and lots of misinformation on.

None of us  knows what the future holds, but I will keeping rolling along, through good times and bad, depending on the beauty of nature, the warmth of friends, the care of doctors and nurses, the innovations of science.  And my garden, thorns and all.




This blog is brought to you by the generosity of people who support me on Patreon , buy my art, and who support me in so many different ways

If you’d like to make a one time donation, you can do so at paypal at my email address joyzmailbox @gmail.com

Cards and prints on some of my art is available on Redbubble.   Including masks!

Lots of other artists have masks for sale there, too.

If you find a typo, let me know, and I’ll send you a postcard.

5 thoughts on “Flamed

  1. Hi Joy.
    I’m appalled that someone would have the audacity to flame you. The people who think they’re so right are, in my opinion, those who have little education, such as college biology or anatomy class. I run into these people too. They pick and choose what they want to hear and what suits their own stories. It’s pretty sad that they don’t have the gumption to broaden their intellectual capabilities. Instead, it’s as if they’re plodding along thru the fog.
    The fog being the smokescreen erected by this criminal administration and various fake news organizations (Fox and OAN come to mind).

    Well, congrats for shaking off the attack and carrying on with your art and your life.

    May ALL Americans realize we are supposed to be “united” states. I look forward to a day when we don’t wake up each morning dreading the latest news.

    Take care and be safe.

  2. It threw me off balance a little bit. It’s hard for me to just let go and not try to reason with someone. It always shocks me when I can’t, when I reach that point where my reasoning has no power and I get accused of being stupid. I’m not worried so much that people disagree, but they don’t tolerate disagreement. But that’s not new I suppose, just more of it. Take care and be safe, too, Lynn.

  3. Joy, you are so eloquent as usual. The discord you ‘be been having from a former friend is disconcerting, but you are very strong and intelligent and you will prevail!
    Mask On! ❤️Jeanne

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s