Drawing Depression #11

I’ve done a drawing every day since February 4th to help me manage my depression.  I’ve been on medication for a month and the darkest part of depression has lifted.  I’ve been surprised to find so many people who have responded and shared their own struggles with this soul draining disorder.  I’m so very glad I started it and shared it.

I’m enjoying the daily process and am now in that odd place of feeling that if I’m enjoying it, it’s not work.  I’m not really doing any real “work.”  I should be working on a story, or a painting on canvas, or something more productive and less self-centered.

At least now I recognize that voice as a the “itty bitty shitty committee.”  And it’s that voice that is the real reason I’m doing this journaling project.  Anti-depressants aren’t enough to keep me from hearing an undercurrent of negativity in much of what I do.  The journal, and the other creative practices I engage in, help silence that voice.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to silence the ibsc, but I can re-wire my reaction to it.  I can learn to laugh at my own impulse to give more power the negative more than the positive.

Whatever I do, I am mostly a kind person, bumbling along this strange path called life.  There’s no need to judge myself.  There is only need to move forward.  And celebrate all the other kind people on this road with me.

I like drawing pictures of myself because I don’t have to worry about not capturing the image “right.”  Here’s today’s offering:

020

Very different than the once I started with:

001

But not quite as buoyant as the one drew in September:

025

But I’m growing in many ways every day.

I’m drawing daily to help manage depression.  If you’d like to see the beginning of this project, you can see it here.  You can also follow me through WordPress or on Facebook.

Your thoughts and shares are appreciated.

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6 thoughts on “Drawing Depression #11

  1. Today’s You looks thoughtful, pensive, vulnerable. ( and beautiful as you always are) I’m glad you can use your art this way.

  2. Are you in therapy? It helps a lot with depression. I’m retired, but I had clients who managed their depression with weekly sessions, no meds. And some for whom meds plus therapy were necessary. A therapist can challenge the negative beliefs and distorted thinking that contributes to depression, as well as providing a safe, gentle support. Wishing you all the best in your process.

    1. Yes. I was off meds for almost 7 years. I started counseling more than 2 years ago but my mood got dangerously low over the winter so I went back on meds. After about 2 weeks I started the drawing project. It’s been good for me and my counselor, too. Now we are working on rebuilding some of the techniques that have helped in the past. Thanks for your kind words.

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