I used to be a sewer; now I’m a drawer

Flying dream (the wings are a little book)

I started creating visual art when I was in my 30s.  After treatment for major depression/mild bi-polar disorder, I became hungry for color. Depression is a common side effect of having a long term disability, but I think it runs in my family.  Fortunately, since I had a disability that included seizures, self medicating with alcohol was not an option for me.  I found other outlets.

I’d always written poetry and stories, and I was a chronic doodler.  But after actual medical treatment for depression, I felt like a veil had been lifted from my sight and I was enchanted with the color of everything.    I started embroidering, something I hadn’t done since I was teenager.  It became a wonderful introduction to the healing power of handwork.

I started exploring the vast world of fabric art and branched out a bit with art quilts and wall hangings.   One day I came home and my 10 year old daughter had made a little doll out of my fabric scraps.  I wanted to make one, too.  So I did — and a whole city of dolls and fabric sculptures popped into my imagination and out of my hands.  I was self taught — well, I read a lot of books on cloth dolls and hand sewing techniques.  I learned to crochet and knit.   I combined forms and had a great time.  My work got more and more complex.

a bird told me

During the same time, I went through a lot of life changes and moved from Memphis, TN, to Portland, OR, at age 46.  At one point, I took a job that just exhausted me and I thought I’d never get back into art and creative work.  Then, I  got married, had to quit that job, and started making dolls and writing again.

At the end of 2010, though, we had to move to a one bedroom apartment and I no longer had the room to store the stuff  for making the elaborate dolls.  I’d always wanted to hone my drawing skills, so I decided to put my creative energy into drawing, writing and working with watercolors.  Now I rarely sew, but I draw a LOT.  I think one of my problems with watercolor is that I still imagine I can just layer one color on top of another — I have an opaque imagination.  Still, I love the way watercolor works — and pencils, pens, acrylics — ahh, art offers so many possibilities.

Since I’ve not posted my fabric work on this blog yet and I have lots of new readers and followers, I thought I’d post some of my past work over the next few weeks. It’s a lot.  I worked in fabric for almost 15 years!

One of my first dolls:  Desdemona Stargazer who lives with my sister/friend in Memphis

I chose to use my dolls to express ideas about bodies in transformation.  Because my neurological disorder  makes me walk funny, I made bird women who were half bird and half human — they wore braces and had weak wings.  I made tree people, who couldn’t move but bloomed anyway.  In mythology, gods and goddesses go through all kinds of transformations, they become trees, they sprout wings, they lose one identity and shape shift into another powerful being. This imagery fit how I wanted to feel about my own body’s transformation.

Hathor, the Egyptian Goddess had her head replaced by a cow’s head — she was a goddess of humor

I also loved making characters & dolls for children of all ages:

Dude be stylin’

That’s enough for now.  I’ll post more over the next few weeks.

Meanwhile, here’s a self portrait I did about a year ago:

51 and still playing around

Remember, if your life changes, don’t give up your creative impulses.  Let them evolve — you’ll surprise yourself!

Paint Party Friday is having a Auction Blog Hop to Benefit Sandy Hook Elementary, plus they’re having their usual blog art tour, so stop by and see the creativity blooming there.

Keep doodling.

Fish Out of Water

Fish Out of Water
    “I decided not to have any goals this week.  I could work if I wanted to, but no “assignments.”  I had tried to get stories drafted and revised.  One story, my magic fish story, got 3 criticisms from 3 different people about the same issue, so I knew I’d have to do another revision.  So I just put everything aside.
     Without my “assignments,” I felt like a fish out of water. I got depressed.  Then, I had an art session with one my Bridge Meadows kids.  We got out our notebooks, the watercolors, the gold paint and the colored pencils.  
     Then, the magic happened.  The week went heavenly after that.”
My 5 year old friend drew blobs in brown metallic watercolor.  
“What animal can we make out of this?”  I asked.
“Make it a porcupine.”
I had no idea what a porcupine really looked like, so I just started adding spikes and a smile.

That was so much fun, I decided to work on my “commission.”  My husband wanted me to redesign the logo for the organization of which he’s a founding member, The Aging Artfully Initiative.  The original looks like this:

This is my  more detailed and colorful rendition.  It’s going to go through some changes yet, but I like this first draft:

I had nice sized puddles of paint left, so I splashed them on a piece of watercolor paper.  The next day, I took my gold gouache and loosely painted the shape of reeds and a heron.  Then I started layering colored pencil, watercolor pencil and watercolor.  The gold sort of seeped up through the layers and for awhile, I thought I’d just made another of my famous messes, but I kept layering and adding detail and was surprised to find something I quite liked.

Golden Heron —  7 x 10″ mixed media

So, it was nice to let go and just enjoy playing around.  How was your week?

If you missed the Monday book review, you can find it here.  If you have a book you’d like to see reviewed on my blog, please contact me a joyzmailbox at gmail dot com.  I review everything from children’s picture books, art books to dense novels.  I love children’s literature. I particularly like independent and small presses. 

If you’re looking for painting inspiration stop by Paint Party Friday.

And if you’re at a loss and feeling forlorn, hang out with a kid for while.  You’ll be surprised how contagious a childlike spirit can be.

For My Mom

I will be off line till February 13th or so.  I’m traveling to Memphis to celebrate my mom’s life.  She passed away peacefully in her sleep February 4.  We will miss her bright eyes and sweet smile, but she will always be with us.

Elaine Murray Bullard  1939 -2013

Frosty Beauties

I went for a walk a few days ago and found a few Swiss chard plants in a front yard garden.  The stalks had the most vivid colors but I didn’t have my camera.  Since then it’s been quite cold and frosty at night.  When I went for a walk today, I remembered the camera and found that the weather had made the stalks droop into lovely flower like shapes.

Here’s a few shots of them.

This one is growing from a collapsed stem

Nature love abstract foms

It was an amazing day for glistening natural plant forms  The sun was just coming out and melting the frost and ice from last night.

Frost on the spider web on the porch in the frozen fog of morning

 

Spiders like to ride my husband’s bike

Across the street from Columbia park buds are swelling amid the frost and lichen

Small icy chandelier 

Ice Forest

And I always love to photograph dramatic old tree trunks:

I look at these everyday natural beauties and want to draw them all, but I never have time.  Instead I collect many, many, many reference photos. I love the digital technology that allows me to keep up this habit.  It trains my eye, so when I do get time to draw, my mind is ready.  On days when I’m too tired to walk, the pictures are here to give me that window into nature that is so restorative, no matter what the internal or external weather.  The next best thing is to share them. 

Look around in wonder whenever you can.