Author: Joy Murray

I first went on anti-depressants in my mid-30s.  At the time, I was writing a lot, but I didn’t make visual art.  Great things were happening in my life — I had two sweet children, a good husband, and a safer life than I’d even known.  But all I could think about was the past and the sorrows of the world.  I often wondered why there wasn’t more public weeping — people’s lives were so full of trouble and despair.

Once the anti-depressants started to take effect, I felt this shift in my mind.  The sorrows of the world and my life didn’t disappear, but they didn’t dominate my mind.  My psychiatrist got me to start giving the happiness of the world as much power as I gave the sadness.  I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I hadn’t had taken anti-depressants, though.  I’d have never known what it was like.

I also became hungry for color.  I started embroidering, then went on to make art quilts and dolls. In the past 8 years, I’ve started drawing and painting.  You can read about that journey here.

I self-managed my depression/bi-polar for the past 7 years and thought I did pretty well. I realize now that the veil that clouded my vision before was back and I wasn’t aware of how much it had muted my delight in color.  Again.  Today, I created a little collage about that:

I hope the overall mood is celebratory.

It’s wonderful complex world.  I hope to always see that clearly.

I’m drawing daily to help manage depression, long-term disability, and life in general.  If you’d like to see the beginning of this project, you can see it here.  You can also follow me through WordPress or on Facebook.

Your thoughts and shares are appreciated.

I had a great time yesterday, but today I was spent.  Years ago, when I was still learning to manage my disability and the accompanying fatigue, I decided to take some lessons from cats.  Today was a cat day:

I’m drawing daily to help manage depression, long-term disability, and life in general.  If you’d like to see the beginning of this project, you can see it here.  You can also follow me through WordPress or on Facebook.

Your thoughts and shares are appreciated.

I spent most of today at the art show for Bridge Meadows, the community I live in.  It’s an inter-generational community where elders (people over 55) support families adopting children from the foster care system.  In exchange for affordable housing, elders mentor children.  I lead several art classes and mentor children in art and reading.  Once a year we have a recycled materials art show — Box Art.  This year we made Box Meadows, a little village made of imagination and cardboard and other recycled material.  It was a lot of fun, and many supporters of Bridge Meadows came to see what the children created.

Before I went to help set up the show, I did my daily drawing.  A few days ago, I’d had a conversation with a friend about animal tokens and symbols.  I said I was a turtle, tree, fox, monkey.  She asked what that would look like, so I tried to draw it.

I was in a rush, but I’m glad I took the time to think about the way we create symbols in our lives, the way color elevates our moods, and the way I perceive myself changes over time.

I’m drawing daily to help manage depression, long-term disability, and life in general.  If you’d like to see the beginning of this project, you can see it here.  You can also follow me through WordPress or on Facebook.

Your thoughts and shares are appreciated.

One of the many benefits of doing this daily drawing practice, is that now I have to accept my mistakes, my wonky lines, my watercolor ineptness, and my imperfect handwriting. For years, I waited until I was really, really good at my art before I started sharing it, but it looks like I’m always going to be off-kilter.  I don’t even know what it means to be really, really good — it’s a transitory judgement that keeps shifting, depending on my mood.  So here is my drawing, complete with mistakes.  I hope you have some creative mistakes today, too.

I’m drawing daily to help manage depression, long-term disability, and life in general.  If you’d like to see the beginning of this project, you can see it here.  You can also follow me through WordPress or on Facebook.

Your thoughts and shares are appreciated.