I want to resolve that I’m going to start writing again. Long time ago — 40 years ago now — I was writing and sharing poetry and stories. I went to the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics at Naropa Institute and studied under Allen Ginsberg. I had a few short stories and poems published. But I became disenchanted with the Beats, and the whole writing process. I went into a shell, started doing visual art, but I didn’t quit writing. I have written all my life and it has made my life better, especially in dealing with a life long mystery illness, and recovering from a toxic family of origin.
I have volumes of journals. Some are visual. Some are filled the stories I see around me every day. Some contain imaginings and poems. A lot contain process writing, which is a kind way of saying they contain a lot of navel gazing and complaining.
This coming year I hope to look through them and find stories and poems that I want to share. I don’t feel as vulnerable as I did when I was in my 20s, though that sense is still there to some degree. I’ve decided just to do my own sharing, no working though gatekeepers and editors (though I will have friends look over my work for editorial and revision help).
So here, on New Years Eve, of 2023, is a poem.
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joy murray art~stories~life 
Love it
Thank you!
Joy dearest,
I love that you are going to be sharing your written words. I ached reading it, but know that OUR NOW is a whole lot kinder than when we were completely afraid. I have loved your journey of hues, but have often been too tired to be there all the time for more than self. I have learned to prioritize self and know you too know the journey to that vista. In-between is a beautiful dance I know and cherish. I hope you can feel my love and embrace. I treasure that you reached out to me so very long ago. I will always cherish YOU.
May 2024 be filled with so many kinder notes and reasons to smile. Love and blessings dear heart.
Love Pam ❤️
So good to hear from you, Pam. And thank you for your kind words. The fatigue that accompanies so many long term illnesses is hard for many to understand, but it can stop us from doing so much. I’m glad you read my blog! I treasure our meeting and being able to share small fragments of beauty in our lives. May your year be filled with beauty and reasons to smile, too. Much love!
Thank you for sharing this poem, Joy. We are all a bucket of contradictions, aren’t we? I wish I could wave a wand to make your illness disappear. But perhaps a more realistic wish is for you to experience a wealth of creativity and beauty in the new year.
Thank you. I love the image of us being a bucket of contradictions. I needed to express that because I feel that way so often. Thank you for the new year wishes and I return the same to you. Hold on to your hat, here comes another year!
Hi Joy. It was so nice to see you amid a gathering of peop
Thank for that Joy. Thank you. We are our contradictions—that’s living! Beautifully expressed.
I feel so stupid sometimes when I want to write a comment and I don’t know how; it does happen when I love something so much, felt so much. It has happened when I read this post of yours today. You have a very special educational background in terms of creative writing and I love it when someone has the courage to say that s/he does not want to follow the idolized current. But I am appealed even more by what you did after that, I mean your writing and visual writing as an inner need, which is the real act of creating a thing. It’s a beautiful poem hard to read, painful to feel. A comment is never enough, but I hope I said what I meant, at least a small percentage of it. Thank you, Joy.
Thank you for your comments. They are so well thought out and give me insights into the way my writing and art affect people. It has been a strange life, and I often wish I had pursued a creative career, but I think my life is much richer because I kept my creative life private in a way that served my own life. I love when I do share things that they provide some insight or comfort in this strange world to others. Thanks again for reading my blog.